Why Real Connection Matters More Than Ever
By: MaCae Bairett
MFT Student Intern
There’s something deeply fulfilling about showing up for the people we care about. We comfort them when they’re down, celebrate their wins, and check in just to say, “I’m thinking of you.” But did you know that caring for your friends actually benefits you as much as it benefits them?
We often talk about the importance of support systems and strong social connections, but we don’t always pause to consider what happens inside us when we take the time to nurture those friendships. As it turns out, being a good friend isn’t just kind—it’s healing.
Supporting Others Boosts Your Own Wellbeing
A recent peer-reviewed article titled The association between social support provision, psychological capital, subjective well-being and sense of indebtedness among undergraduates with low socioeconomic status explored the effects of providing support to others. The researchers found that when people offered social and emotional support to their peers, they experienced greater overall life satisfaction, improved emotional resilience, and even more hope and optimism.
Think about that for a second: offering kindness, care, and encouragement to someone else can actually increase your own sense of purpose, positivity, and emotional strength. That’s because these acts of connection tap into what makes us human—we’re wired for belonging, and giving to others helps us feel grounded and valuable. It reminds us that we matter.
And no, this isn’t just about grand, dramatic gestures. Something as simple as texting a friend to check in, listening without trying to fix, or offering a few words of encouragement can have real, measurable impacts on your own mental health.
The Importance of a Support System
While it’s amazing that helping others helps you too, the reverse is just as important: being on the receiving end of love and support is critical to emotional health. According to a systematic review published in BMC Public Health titled Association between friendship quality and subjective wellbeing among adolescents, high-quality friendships were strongly associated with better mental health outcomes. Young people with strong friendships experienced lower rates of depression and loneliness, and reported higher self-esteem and life satisfaction.
In other words, connection is a two-way street. When we surround ourselves with people who truly care—who see us, hear us, and are brave enough to be honest with us—we’re better equipped to handle the ups and downs of life. We don’t just survive; we grow.
A Personal Story
Not long ago, I found myself in a heavy season of life. I was juggling school, work, and family responsibilities. I was deep into my own trauma healing journey. To be honest, I thought I was handling things well. I kept pushing forward, doing what I needed to do. But inside, I felt constantly stressed, anxious, and disconnected. I didn’t even realize how much negativity I was holding onto.
Then one day, a close friend gently pulled me aside and told me something that shifted everything.
She said, “I love you, and I need to tell you, you’ve been really negative lately. It’s not good for you. And honestly, it’s starting to affect me too.”
Her words were a wake-up call. They weren’t cruel. They were loving. She cared enough about me to say something that wasn’t easy to say. And because she wasn’t family—because she wasn’t obligated to stick around, it meant even more. Her honesty made me feel safe, not ashamed.
From that moment, I started making small changes. I practiced gratitude. I made a conscious effort not to magnify every problem. I still had challenges, my circumstances didn’t magically change, but my perspective did. And I was able to face everything with a little more hope, simply because I knew I wasn’t alone.
To KS, my hermanita: I’ll never forget what that conversation meant to me. You changed my life with your honesty, and I’ll always be thankful.
These days, I’m lucky to be part of a group we affectionately call “toddler moms”, a circle of women with kids around the same age. We have monthly dinners and a standing tradition of watching trashy TV together one night a week. There are nights I feel too tired to go, tempted to cancel and just stay home. But every time I follow through and show up for my friends, I leave feeling lighter, more connected, and more myself than when I arrived.
We don’t just support each other; we make an effort to widen the circle. We invite other moms in, plan inclusive gatherings, and check in with the ones who haven’t been around in a while. Because the truth is, you can’t show too much support. There’s always room for more love, more laughter, and more connection.
The Role of Therapy in Building Connection
While friends are powerful allies, they’re not the only source of support. Therapy can also be a life-changing space to explore your relational patterns, heal from past wounds, and develop the confidence to form new connections.
A therapist isn’t a friend, but they do care about you. They listen without judgment, offer honest reflections, and help you make sense of your thoughts and emotions. For people who struggle with social anxiety or have difficulty trusting others, therapy can be a starting point for learning how to build safe, reciprocal relationships.
Whether you’re navigating a rough patch with a current friend, grieving loneliness, or trying to learn how to reach out more, therapy can guide you through it with compassion and clarity. Just like a good friend, a good therapist helps you grow.
Final Thoughts
The power of friendship goes far beyond just having someone to hang out with. It’s about mutual care. It’s about growing through support, through honesty, through presence. When you choose to show up for your friends, you’re choosing healing for yourself. And when you let others care for you, you’re allowing yourself to be seen and loved in your most human moments.
Whether your support system includes lifelong friends, a trusted therapist, or new connections you’re still building, know that support is one of the most important ingredients for well-being. Give it. Receive it. And grow through it.
It could change your life just like it changed mine.
MaCae Bairett
Specializing in anxiety, ADHD, and the relational patterns that impact emotional well-being.