Learning to Love My ADHD: How It Shows Up at Work, Home, School, and Beyond
By MaCae Bairett, MFT Student Intern
I was diagnosed with ADHD in 4th grade, but I remember feeling different as early as 2nd. I couldn’t quite put my finger on it, but I knew my brain didn’t work like everyone else’s. It wasn’t until a visit to my pediatrician’s office that things started to make sense. I was officially diagnosed with ADHD and started medication soon after.
When my mom filled out the screener during my evaluation, she realized that she had many of the same symptoms. It was a lightbulb moment for both of us. Still, back then, we didn’t know much about ADHD beyond the diagnosis, and because I was young and my mom was just learning too, we didn’t explore coping skills. We relied solely on medication.
I took medication during the school year from 4th grade through high school, but it wasn’t until my junior and senior years that I realized I didn’t want to depend on it. So I began a journey of trial and error without Googling or a plan (hindsight tells me that was a very ADHD move)—just learning how my brain works. Over time, I figured out what overwhelmed me, what motivated me, and what worked for me.
One thing I discovered is that I’m a sensory seeker. I’m not a big fidgeter, but I love having something to engage my senses while I work. For example, when I had long days of homework, I’d paint my nails—very slowly. One layer, one nail every 10 minutes. It would take me six hours to finish, but guess what? That’s how long my homework took too. The nail painting helped keep my brain stimulated and my body engaged so I could stay focused. People were shocked. “It takes you six hours to paint your nails?” Yes. But it also takes six hours to get through my assignments, and this is what helps me do it.
Now, I rely on tools like digital calendars, not just for appointments but for reminders to do basic tasks. I send scheduled messages to myself. I’ve learned to recognize when I’m overstimulated and to advocate for myself. I’ve been off medication since finishing my bachelor’s degree, but I see it as a tool, not a crutch. Recently, while working full time, pursuing my master’s degree part time, and raising two kids, I pulled that tool back out. It helped. And when life settles down, I might set it aside again. The key is knowing what you need at any given time and giving yourself the freedom to adapt.
Over the years, I’ve grown to love my ADHD. It is a valuable strength and a source of creativity and uniqueness. Of course, there are times I still get frustrated. But viewing myself through an ADHD lens has helped me understand not only my struggles but also the beautiful ways my brain works. I’ve learned to lean into my strengths and nurture them. My journey with ADHD is ongoing, but now it comes with more grace, self-compassion, and even pride.
Core and Hidden Symptoms
According to the DSM-5, ADHD involves persistent patterns of inattention, hyperactivity, and impulsivity across multiple settings (APA, 2013). In adults, it often presents less as hyperactivity and more as mental restlessness, distractibility, executive dysfunction, emotional dysregulation, and difficulty with motivation or follow-through.
What many people don’t see are the internal symptoms—things like shame over unfinished tasks, overstimulation in busy environments, chronic overwhelm, and feeling “lazy” despite trying hard. These invisible struggles can be just as debilitating as the more obvious signs.
ADHD in Different Areas of Life
1. Workplace
In professional settings, ADHD can make it difficult to prioritize, start or finish projects, manage time effectively, or remember important details. Interrupting during meetings, losing track of tasks, or procrastinating until deadlines loom are all common struggles.
But ADHD also brings strengths like creativity, high energy, spontaneous problem-solving, and the ability to hyperfocus when something truly engages the brain. Many adults thrive in dynamic or flexible work environments that allow them to lean into these strengths.
This Psychology Today article explores how ADHD affects workplace dynamics and how to use accommodations and structure to support productivity.
2. Relationships
ADHD can affect both romantic and platonic relationships. Forgetting important dates, spacing out in conversations, or emotional reactivity can lead to misunderstandings and conflict. People with ADHD may interrupt, overshare, or unintentionally dominate conversations.
Emotional dysregulation can make small disagreements feel overwhelming. Many with ADHD also struggle with rejection sensitivity, which can create anxiety or withdrawal in relationships.
ADDitude Magazine has a fantastic collection of resources for navigating ADHD in romantic and family relationships, especially when one or both partners are neurodivergent.
3. Home Life
At home, ADHD may show up as chronic disorganization, difficulty maintaining routines, or feeling overstimulated by noise or clutter. Small tasks can feel insurmountable. For many, simple things like laundry or dishes pile up because of decision fatigue or task paralysis.
But with the right strategies—visual reminders, body doubling, breaking chores into micro-steps—home life can become more manageable and even peaceful. This ADDitude article offers practical suggestions tailored for ADHD brains.
4. School
ADHD is often diagnosed in childhood because academic environments spotlight attentional challenges. Forgetting homework, struggling with time management, or difficulty staying seated are classic signs.
But giftedness or masking behaviors can cause some kids to fly under the radar. Many are first diagnosed in college or adulthood, especially those with inattentive-type ADHD.
A scholarly review in the Journal of Attention Disorders highlights how executive dysfunction—not lack of intelligence—underlies most academic struggles for students with ADHD.
5. Self-Concept and Emotional Health
One often overlooked area is the impact ADHD has on how people see themselves. Years of criticism, missed expectations, or social challenges can wear down self-esteem. Many adults with ADHD struggle with anxiety, depression, or burnout from constantly trying to “keep up” with a neurotypical world.
Validating the experience and reframing it as neurological, not moral, can be incredibly healing. Therapy can be a huge support in this process.
Screening and Seeking Help
If you think you might have ADHD, a free and evidence-based screener like the Adult ADHD Self-Report Scale (ASRS) is a great place to start. It takes just a few minutes. While it is not diagnostic, it can help you identify whether a clinical evaluation might be worthwhile.
A licensed therapist or medical provider can walk you through the diagnostic process and support you in building coping strategies tailored to your life.
How Therapy Helps
Therapy can help manage ADHD through a mix of education, behavior change, and emotional support. Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) adapted for ADHD is especially helpful in targeting self-defeating thoughts and building executive functioning skills.
Many also benefit from ADHD coaching or accountability-based tools like body doubling, habit stacking, and mindfulness-based practices.
Medication is another useful tool, but it is not the only one. As my own experience shows, it is something you can pull out when life demands more bandwidth and put away when it is no longer necessary. What matters most is listening to what your brain needs in the moment and responding with compassion.
Final Thoughts
ADHD is complex. What is hard for one person may not be hard for another. What works today might not work tomorrow. And that is okay.
The key to thriving with ADHD is not about fixing yourself. It is about understanding yourself, learning how your brain works, experimenting with what helps...
And building a life that supports your rhythm, not one that demands you override it.
For a long time, I saw my ADHD as something I needed to manage or work around. And yes, there are still moments when I get frustrated, when my brain feels like it is working against me. But over time, and with more self-compassion, I have come to see my ADHD not just as a challenge but as a gift. It is the source of my creativity, my unique way of seeing the world, and my ability to connect dots others might miss.
Viewing myself through an ADHD lens has helped me recognize not just what is hard, but what is amazing about how I am wired. I have learned to celebrate the strengths I naturally have and to keep building on them. I love my ADHD now. And even in the hard moments, I hold onto the truth that it is part of what makes me who I am.
If you are on this journey too—whether you are newly diagnosed, considering evaluation, or supporting someone with ADHD—know that you are not alone. And know that there is more than one way to thrive.
Written by: MaCae Bairett, MFT Student Intern
Specializing in anxiety, ADHD, and the relational patterns that impact emotional well-being.
Want Support?
If you’re looking for support in navigating ADHD or any other mental health challenges, Therapy for Families is here to help. With locations in League City, The Woodlands, and Midland, Texas, we offer more than traditional marriage counseling—we provide a wide range of mental health services designed to support your whole well-being.
Our team of experienced counselors specializes in anxiety treatment, couples counseling, teen therapy, play therapy, insomnia support, and ADHD management. We also work with clients facing stress, school issues, grief, low self-esteem, impulse control, family conflict, trauma, life transitions, and more. Whether you’re managing a recent diagnosis or facing long-standing challenges, we’re here to walk alongside you.
Visit Therapy for Families & ADHD & Neurofeedback Clinic to learn how we can support you or your loved ones on the path toward greater mental and emotional health.