How to Choose the Right Therapist for You
Finding the right therapist can feel like a big task. With so many options out there, how do you know who will be the best fit for you? The truth is that therapy is not one size fits all. What works for one person may not work for another. The good news is that you have choices, and with a little patience, you can find someone who feels like the right partner on your journey.
I learned this lesson the hard way, not first in therapy, but when I was searching for a doctor. I was having some health concerns and felt like my current doctor was not really listening to me. They always seemed too busy to sit down and tailor their care to what I actually needed. Determined to get my concerns resolved, I started searching for doctors who specialized in what I was worried about. After some trial and error, and navigating some confusing insurance steps, I finally found a doctor who could really help. More importantly, I felt like we had a good communication style and I walked away from appointments feeling seen and heard.
Therapy can be very similar. It may take a few tries before you land on the therapist who feels like a good fit. When I first started therapy, I met with two different therapists before I found the one I really connected with. That process was not wasted time. It helped me figure out what I did and did not want in therapy. If you meet with someone a few times and you just do not feel that click, or it feels difficult to communicate, or their therapeutic style does not work for you, that does not mean you have failed at therapy. It simply means you have learned something important about what you need.
Here are some key things to consider as you search for the right therapist.
1. Personality Fit and the Therapeutic Relationship
One of the most important parts of therapy is the relationship itself. Research has consistently shown that the therapeutic relationship, sometimes called the therapeutic alliance, is one of the strongest predictors of positive outcomes in therapy. A strong alliance is built on trust, collaboration, and a sense of being understood.
Psychology Today highlights this by pointing out that therapy is not just about techniques or methods, but about whether you feel heard and supported in the room. If you feel respected and safe with your therapist, you are much more likely to make progress.
2. Background and Cultural or Religious Sensitivity
Your therapist’s background and experience can also matter. For example, if you are working through religious trauma, it may be especially helpful to see someone who understands your faith tradition. That way, you do not have to spend extra time explaining terminology or cultural context, and you can instead focus on your healing. The same applies if you want a therapist who shares or understands your cultural background, gender identity, or other important aspects of your life.
3. Modalities and Treatment Fit
Therapists often use different therapeutic modalities, or approaches, to guide their work. Cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) is one of the most common and well researched approaches, and many people benefit from it. However, CBT does not work for everyone. Some people may feel more comfortable with other approaches such as person centered therapy, psychodynamic therapy, or mindfulness based therapies.
Research shows that therapy tends to be more effective when the style of treatment matches the needs and preferences of the client (Flückiger et al., 2018). If one style does not seem to fit, do not give up on therapy. Instead, consider looking for a therapist who is trained in other approaches and can offer something different.
4. Cost and Insurance
Therapy can be expensive, and cost is often a deciding factor for many people. On average, a fully licensed therapist charges about 150 dollars per session. Some therapists offer sliding scale fees depending on income, which can make therapy more accessible.
If a therapist is not in your insurance network, they may provide a superbill. A superbill is a detailed invoice you can submit to your insurance company for possible reimbursement. It lists the services you received along with necessary codes and information. Not all insurance companies reimburse superbills, but many do at least partially, so it is worth checking with your provider.
Another option to consider is working with a student intern. Student interns are usually in the final year of their master’s program and are closely supervised by a fully licensed therapist. Their rates are often much lower, typically between 30 and 75 dollars per session. Do not let the word “student” dissuade you. Working with an intern often means you benefit from both their fresh education and the wisdom of their supervisor, creating a team approach to your care.
If you need lower cost therapy, resources like Open Path Collective can also help. Open Path offers a directory of therapists who provide sessions at reduced rates, usually between 30 and 70 dollars.
5. Location and Format
Practical details also matter. You might find a therapist you really like, but if their office is an hour away, that can be a tough commitment. Virtual sessions are a convenient option for many people, but they are not for everyone. Personally, when I was going to therapy, I preferred in person sessions. Being physically separated from my daily environment helped me to relax and focus, rather than being distracted by my unfinished assignments or household tasks.
Think about what environment will help you feel most comfortable and whether the time commitment of travel is realistic for your lifestyle.
6. Using Therapist Directories
Websites like Psychology Today and Open Path Collective make it easier to search for therapists who fit your needs. You can filter by location, insurance, specialties, modalities, and more. Once you have a few options, reach out and ask some questions. Many therapists offer free consultations so you can get a feel for whether you connect with them before scheduling a full session.
And I would be doing you a disservice if I did not mention this: you can also call the therapeutic offices directly. Often the receptionist can give you extra insight about the therapists there that you might not get just from a short online profile. At Therapy for Families, for example, we have about ten therapists with different backgrounds, experiences, specialties, and availabilities. Sometimes a quick phone call is the fastest way to find out if one of them might be a good fit for you.
7. Questions to Ask
When you talk with a potential therapist, you might ask:
- How would you describe your approach to therapy?
- Do you have experience with concerns like mine?
- Do you accept my insurance, or can you provide superbills?
- Do you offer in person, virtual, or both?
- What does building a strong working relationship look like for you?
8. Trust the Process
Above all, remember that finding the right therapist is a process. Just like finding the right doctor took persistence for me, finding the right therapist can take time. But the effort is worth it. The right therapist can help you feel understood, supported, and equipped to move forward in your life.
By: MaCae Bairett, MFT Student Intnern
Specializing in anxiety, ADHD, and the relational patterns that impact emotional well-being.
At Therapy for Families, with offices in League City, The Woodlands, and Midland, Texas, we provide a wide range of services designed to support the whole person and the entire family system. Our counselors are trained in areas such as anxiety treatment, couples counseling, teen counseling, play therapy, and insomnia therapy. We also help clients navigate challenges including stress management, grief, school related concerns, self esteem struggles, parenting difficulties, life transitions, trauma, ADHD, and behavioral issues. In addition, we offer support for family conflict, anger management, divorce adjustment, peer relationships, social and emotional development, and recovery from domestic violence or sexual assault. At the ADHD & Neurofeedback Clinic, we are committed to walking alongside you with compassionate, evidence based care as you pursue greater mental and emotional well being. Contact us today to start your journey to find the right therapist for you.